Valentine Rom-Com-Slasher ‘Heart Eyes’ is Fun But Has Commitment Issues

Valentine Rom-Com-Slasher ‘Heart Eyes’ is Fun But Has Commitment Issues

By Alex McPherson

Neither scary nor swoonworthy, director Josh Ruben’s “Heart Eyes” is a horror-rom-com hybrid that is amusing but never truly carves out its own spot among its influences.

We follow Ally (Olivia Holt), an advertising exec at a Seattle jewelry company who has given up on romantic love. In fact, her “ingenious” new ad campaign proposal revolves around doomed cinematic romances. This idea doesn’t go over well with her boss (Michaela Watkins, with a cartoonish southern drawl) and on social media, given that there’s a killer on the loose — a masked murderer with heart-shaped eyes, who has employed copious tools for impaling, slicing, and dicing unsuspecting couples on Valentine’s Day for the past two years.

The Heart Eyes Killer has arrived in Seattle, and, as evidenced by a suitably gnarly cold open involving a staged proposal, literal “camera cut,” and novel use of an industrial grape press, they’re as bloodthirsty as ever.

But, for the time being, Ally isn’t all that concerned, given that she’s written off true love as a myth. In typical rom-com fashion, she bumps into the extroverted and charismatic Jay (Mason Gooding) at a coffee shop, and sparks fly. Their first interaction is awkward, cute, and, given the film’s propensity for slapstick violence, quite bloody, ending with Ally and her best friend (Gigi Zumbado) awkwardly rushing out of the building.

It turns out, however, that Jay was just hired at Ally’s company to help clean up her PR mess with the ad campaign, and he’s eager to take her out for dinner to discuss a new marketing plan — after his yoga session in a nearby spa.

Ally agrees to meet Jay at a swanky restaurant (complete with a cheesy dress-shopping montage beforehand), but she remains emotionally guarded, unwilling to welcome this (overeager) Mr. Right into her life. Their meet-up is decidedly awkward and uncomfortable, exacerbated by a run-in with Ally’s ex and his girlfriend. Ally kisses Jay to make her ex jealous, which catches the attention of the Heart Eyes Killer lurking nearby. 

Thus, Ally and Jay are on the run from the sadistic slayer, eventually encountering a pair of detectives, Zeke Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Jeanine Shaw (Jordana Brewster) — yes, it’s a joke about the “Fast & Furious” spinoff film “Hobbs and Shaw” — who are determined to catch the killer once and for all. Plus, love is in the air, or whatever.

“Heart Eyes” has a solid premise — parodying two conflicting genres for a Valentine’s Day film with as much cheesy romance as ultraviolent mayhem. But to what end, exactly? Ruben’s film is enjoyable, but lacks the cleverness and wit to truly stand out. It tries to have the best of both worlds while remaining firmly in bland territory, no matter how cheekily self-aware it thinks it is.

That’s not to say “Heart Eyes” is a bad film, just an insubstantial one. It is too obvious in its humor and structure to leave much of an impression beyond mild enjoyment. Holt and Gooding make a solid pairing, with nice chemistry that makes their gradual attraction believable, if not easy to become invested in.

Neither actor is given much to work with from a “dramatic” perspective, and the screenplay by Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy, and Phillip Murphy relies on broad, reference-heavy humor that’s both trying too hard and not hard enough to earn its laughs and scares.

“Heart Eyes” ultimately embraces the clichés of both rom-coms and slashers without meaningfully subverting them. The Heart Eyes Killer itself, for example, is seemingly a combination of Jason Vorhees, Batman, and V from “V For Vendetta,” stalking around in the shadows with a full toolbelt of weapons underneath their jacket. Except this time, their mask has two glowing red hearts where eyes should be.

Indeed, “Heart Eyes” is content to coast on tropes without presenting much of anything surprising within the genres it parodies and, clearly, has affection for., Instead, it insists that its competent mediocrity on both the horror and romance fronts is enough to excuse an ultimate lack of ideas.

Jump scares are aplenty, laws of space and time are thrown out the window, and the ultimate “reveal” is eye rolling, to say the least. But Holt and Gooding are charming, the kills are gnarly, and the film’s seemingly perpetual scenes of cat-and-mouse pursuits are engagingly helmed and keep the film moving at a fast clip.

Through all the bloodshed, Ruben’s film maintains an innocence and belief in the power of love that’s endearing, and, for Valentine’s Day fare at the movies, what more could you ask for? “Heart Eyes” doesn’t aim for “classic” status; it’s a fun, harmless little trifle that won’t break anyone’s heart.

“Heart Eyes” is a 2025 horror-romance directed by Josh Ruben and starring Olivia Holt, Michael Watkins, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Jordana Brewster, and Devon Sawa. It is rated R for strong violence and gore, language and some sexual content., and the run time is 1 hour, 37 minutes. It opened in St. Louis Feb. 7. Alex’s Grade: B-.

‘Freaky’ A Clever and Inspired Mix of Horror and Comedy

‘Freaky’ A Clever and Inspired Mix of Horror and Comedy

By Lynn Venhaus

As genre mashups go, successfully blending horror and comedy is a tricky task, but “Freaky” turns out to be a real treat. It’s a twisted take on the body swap movie by having a teenage girl switch bodies with a serial killer.

It should come as no surprise to fans of director Christopher Landon, who has hit it before with the time-loop “Happy Death Day” and its sequel, “Happy Death Day 2 U,” two clever and inspired funny thrillers.

This time, he and screenwriter Michael Kennedy smartly mix the teen-adult body swap tropes of “Freaky Friday” with the slasher scares of “Friday the 13th,” and infuse it with homages to the classics.

Seventeen-year-old Millie Kessler (Kathryn Newton) tries to be invisible at Blissfield High but then she is attacked on the football field – Go Beavers! – by the Blissfield Butcher (Vince Vaughn), the town’s urban legend-serial killer. He used an ancient mystical dagger, “La Doma,” they trade places and have 24 hours to reverse the curse or she lives inside the middle-age maniac forever.

Starting off with two teenage couples partying while one’s parents are away, they set up the urban legend of The Blissfield Butcher, who wreaked havoc Homecoming Night 20 years ago.

You know where it’s going – especially when the dad collects creepy artifacts – but the doomed kids’ demises are particularly gruesome. Be warned, this movie doesn’t cut away from the grisly carnage – and those bloodbaths are responsible for the R rating.

One artifact is a mystical Aztec dagger that The Butcher steals. Little does he know its use will start the harrowing reign of terror at the high school – and of course, the rogue Homecoming Dance.

Cleverly staged with genuine suspense, then expertly edited by Ben Baudhuin, “Freaky” wouldn’t be as effective without this pitch-perfect cast. Their full commitment to appear as terrified in this living hell is matched by the fun they’re having checking off the horror movie boxes.

The story hinges on Vince Vaughn’s hulking shadowy character, not unlike Michael Myers from “Halloween” or Jason Voorhees from “Friday the 13th.”

Vaughn goes for broke here, gleefully conveying an angsty teenage girl who reveals her crush and must convince Millie’s two besties, Nyla (Celeste O’Connor) and Josh (Misha Osherovich) — who has the bulk of zippy quips – that she is inside the deranged killer. He’s having a blast and demonstrates what a deft comic actor he is.

Swapping with the smaller in stature Kathryn Newton makes the physicality fun to pull off. Newton’s take on the killing machine is harder to achieve, with that “Terminator 2”-like glint in her eye, but the kids at school think she’s transformed herself into an empowered ‘bad girl’(because, of course, she’s wearing a red leather jacket instead of thrift shop frocks).

Only in Hollywood scripts would Newton, as the ‘before’ Millie, be referred to as ordinary and boring. Millie has a lot to deal with – her dad died a year ago, her grief-stricken mom Coral (Katie Finneran) falls asleep by drinking a bottle of chardonnay, she’s bullied by mean girls and the shop teacher (Alan Ruck) — and she’s trying to get Booker (Uriah Shelton) to notice her.

The story’s entertaining aspects help overlook some of the plot’s implausible elements — like where has this psychopath been all these years? And why exactly is she bullied, just for a standard subplot?

The usual horror genre trappings are all here, and that’s part of the fun. Bear McCreary’s score enhances both the humor and the thrills, and the jump scares are executed well.

When “Freaky” is light-hearted, it really is delightful, and when it’s graphic with the murders, I had to look away. Yes, I’m a wuss when it comes to frightening films but Landon’s worth watching – a born entertainer.

But this is a good way to spend a Friday the 13th or a day where you need to escape the realities of 2020. Producer Jason Blumhouse has added another gem in his horror film universe.

“Freaky” is a comedy-horror film directed by Christopher Landon, with screenplay by Michael Kennedy, and starring Vince Vaughn, Kathryn Newton, Alan Ruck, Katie Finneran, Misha Osherovich, Uriah Shelton and Dana Drori. Rated: R for strong bloody horror violence, sexual content, and language throughout, it’s run-time is 1 hr. 42 min. Lynn’s Grade: B+